Why I speak out…
Originally written June 14th, 2020.
To those who ask me why I am angry, and why I speak out:
I’ve had white people tell me that they’re more black than me - purely because of the way I speak or either because of my personality (ex-friends have done this to me).
I’ve had boys tell me “I’m pretty for a black girl” and that I’m a fetish to them (And allowed them to use me).
In my past, I’ve had racial slurs said to my face and in my ignorance, I did not understand that that was wrong and I allowed that abusive pattern to continue.
I’ve been asked “where do you really come from?”
I’ve allowed gaslighting, to the point where my anger towards racism was invalidated.
I’ve been followed around shops.
I have had people play with my natural hair (without consent), and then criticise me for wearing extensions (which have no cultural connotations whatsoever). Newsflash, cultural appropiation is not a counter-argument when holding White People accountable in instances of cultural approriaption. Neither is the ‘link’ valid.
In my past, I’ve allowed White friends to say the n-word as their token black friend. Never. Again. Don’t so much as utter a syllable around me.
I was ignorant and unaware of my blackness, and I am ashamed of that. It was only a few years ago that I learnt (through my family, valued friends, degree, and self learning) about my blackness. I realised that my ignorance was wrong, that how I was treated was wrong, and that I should have NEVER given more power to those who already had power.
I learnt that because of the colour of my skin people would mistreat me, abuse me, manipulate me, hurt me, AND monopolise off of the colour of my skin.
I am BLACK and PROUD.
I am BLACK and BEAUTIFUL.
I am BLACK.
I am not ashamed to admit these, as I am now changed, and educated and most importantly, AWARE. I am also not ashamed for others to use this as a story. To other the Black Women that don’t know who they are, please don’t do what I did.
Learn before you make these mistakes, and know your worth.
People blackfish us, excessively tanning three colours darker than their skin, so that they can wear melanin for a night.
People appropriate our culture to have a GLIMPSE of what we have.
We have strength, power, grace, and resilience. Over 400 years of systemic, systematic, and institutionalised oppression, and they STILL can’t stop us?
Of course they’ll be mad, and they can STAY mad.
2020 is the year of change, and I know damn well that I’ll cuss out a racist in a heartbeat. I also know damn well I ain’t letting no White Man or Woman tell me how Black I am.
Originally written June 14th, 2020.
